Nobody Teaches Parents How to Teach — But Here Is Where to Start
Most parents want to help their child learn at home. The problem is that no one ever teaches parents how to teach.
You sit down at the table with your child. The textbook is open. The homework is waiting. And within ten minutes, one of you is frustrated and the other is shutting down; and neither of you is quite sure how you got there so quickly.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know something important: that is not a parenting failure. That is what happens when a well-meaning, loving parent is handed a child who needs support and given absolutely no tools for how to provide it. You were never shown a different way. So, you do what feels natural: you explain, you correct, you repeat yourself — and when it still does not work, you wonder what you are doing wrong.
Most of the time, you are doing nothing wrong. You are simply using the wrong approach. But the good news is that approach can change tonight.
Here is one technique I use with every child at the Desha Academy. It takes less than five minutes, requires no materials, and will immediately change the quality of every homework session in your home.
Before your child opens a single textbook, ask these three questions.
Step 1: "What do you already know about this?"
This is not a test. It is an invitation.
Most children sit down to homework already feeling behind; already convinced that they do not know enough, understand enough, or remember enough. Before they have even opened the page, they are braced for difficulty.
This question changes that. It reminds your child, and you, that they are not starting from zero. They always know something. And the moment they begin to say it out loud, their confidence shifts. They are no longer a student about to fail. They are a person who knows things, building on what they already have.
Bold tip: Let them talk without correcting. You are listening, not assessing. Whatever they say is valuable information about where they are starting from.
Step 2: "What part confuses you most?"
This is the question most parents skip; and it is the most important one.
When a child says, "I don't understand," that statement tells you almost nothing. It does not tell you which part is unclear, which step broke down, or where the confusion actually started. So you end up explaining everything, repeating yourself, and wondering why nothing is landing.
When you ask "what part confuses you most?" — and you wait, patiently, for the answer — your child has to do something remarkable. They have to look at their own thinking. They have to locate the gap themselves. And more often than not, in the act of trying to explain their confusion to you, they begin to untangle it.
Bold tip: If your child says "all of it" — that is a signal they are overwhelmed, not incapable. Slow down. Pick one small section. Start there only.
Step 3: "Can you show me how you would try to solve this — not the answer, just your thinking?"
This is the question that changes everything.
When a child shows you their thinking rather than just producing an answer, you see exactly where the gap is. Not where you assumed it was. Where it actually is. And that changes everything about how you help them — because you are no longer guessing. You are responding to what is actually happening in your child's mind.
This is the foundation of how we teach at Desha Academy. We do not begin with the correct answer and work backwards. We begin with the child's thinking and work forwards. The difference is enormous.
Bold tip: Resist the urge to jump in and correct immediately. Watch first. Ask "then what would you do?" Let them show you as much as they can before you offer anything.
What to do after these three questions
Once you have listened to what your child already knows, located the specific point of confusion, and watched how they approach the problem — you will know exactly what kind of support to offer. Not a re-explanation of the whole topic. A targeted, specific response to the actual gap.
That is what good teaching looks like. And it is available to every parent, at any kitchen table, starting tonight.
If you want to go further — if you want to build your child's reading confidence, critical thinking, and independent learning beyond the homework table — the right books make an enormous difference. At Bold Print Bookshop, every title in our collection has been chosen with a specific child in mind. Whether your child is a reluctant reader, an advanced reader who is bored, or a child who simply has not found their book yet — we can help you find the right one.
Browse the collection at www.boldprintbookshop.com and find the resource that supports what you are building at home.
One last thing
The three questions above are not a homework hack. They are a shift in how you show up beside your child at the table. From corrector to curious listener. From re-explainer to fellow explorer.
That shift, small as it sounds, is what makes a child feel safe enough to try again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.
That is how confidence is built. Not in big dramatic moments. In small, consistent ones. Starting tonight.
Candace Francis is the founder of Desha Academy and Bold Print Bookshop, based in San Fernando, Trinidad and Tobago. Desha Academy offers small group learning sessions for children, built around the belief that every child deserves to be seen, understood, and empowered. To learn more or speak about your child, visit thedeshaacademy.com.
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